When someone receives a diagnosis—ADHD, Autism, or another neurodivergent identity—it can feel like a moment of clarity. Finally, an explanation. A name for the thing. And yet, that name can quickly become more than information—it can become a label. And if we’re not careful, it can become a box.
Labels are a natural part of how we make sense of the world. They help us organise our thoughts, communicate with others, and in many cases, access support. But a label is not a definition of who you are. It’s not the whole story. And it should never shrink you down.
Psychologist and author Russ Harris offers a brilliant metaphor I first encountered through a Psychwire course: the jam jar. The jar has a label—strawberry, raspberry, plum. That label tells us what kind of jam it is. Maybe it even lists the ingredients. But the label is not the jam. You wouldn’t spread the label on your toast. The jam is inside—and it’s far more complex, nuanced, and, let’s be honest, much tastier than the label suggests.
It’s the same with us.
A diagnosis can bring powerful insight. It can be the start of self-compassion. It can offer direction, language, and relief. But it can also stir up grief, fear, or shame. You might feel sadness that you didn’t know sooner, or anger at how you were misunderstood for years. These reactions are valid. And they’re part of the process.
But remember: you are not your diagnosis. You have ADHD. You are not ADHD. You are not broken. You are not “less than.” You are you—with your own wiring, your own story, your own brilliance.
As an ADHD coach, I’ve never met two brains alike—neurodiverse or neurotypical. That’s why coaching is not about fixing anyone. It’s about meeting you exactly where you are, understanding how your brain works, and building strategies that work for you. We work with your strengths, your quirks, your spark.
So if you’ve recently received a diagnosis—or if you’re still thinking about it—here’s my invitation: hold your labels lightly. Use them when they help. Set them down when they don’t. Let them guide you, not define you.
Because no matter what’s on the outside of the jar, what’s inside is uniquely yours.
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